So open Home Beta came out a while ago. If you weren't there, let me tell you: it was quite the
spectacle. So if you don't have a PS3 or if the PS3 interwebs confuse you, allow me to take you
on a tour of PS3's Home, Slackerz style.
So let's get started with character creation! You have your extremely varied customizable options (like three or four), your easy-as-self-dentistry-to-use
interface, and BAM.
I am quite the masterpiece I know. Stay back ladies. Stay back.
After your character creation, you'll pop into your new "Home": a fancy pantsy shore condo!
Sweet.
Bitchin' furniture, daddio.
I think I'll head over to the dancin' area in the Central Plaza! They call it Listen@Home, but who are they kidding?
It's the dancin' area.
omg WHAT. TWILIGHT IS NOW PLAYING?! thank you sony thank you for letting me know i luv u
Guess I'll head over to the Thee-ay-tor and check that shit!
I am so pumped. hounddog77, you better call your other 76 dogs and tell them to get over here because
this shit is about to get smokin'.
Twilight, you are the best movie ever, but Sony should play more than just your trailer. Otherwise
this seems like a waste of virtual space for PS3 Home to have been delayed a year. (im sry twilite fanz plz don't be mad)
Oh hey a Paramore music video! Plenty of dancin' space! Thanks Sony!
Some noob questioned by skills.
He was put in his place.
Thirty minutes of dancin to looped Twilight trailers and Paramore music videos later, I strut my
stuff to the Mall.
First impressions are important and so is establishing your place early on!
Here's a thought: Where am I going to get some stuff? I need the stuff! I AM IN CRITICAL NEED OF THE STUFF.
OH THANK GOD HERE IS THE STUFF.
WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Come to think of it, I'm not all that satisfied with my pimp ass virtual lake condo.
Time for an upgrade!
But Sony, I just spent all of my loot on my lake condo. Do you think I am made of $4.99?
WE'RE IN A GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS AND YOU WANT TO PIMP YOUR EXTRAVAGANT FIVE DOLLAR MANSIONS?
I am so furious with you Sony that I'm going into your fancy threads store to BURN IT DOWN.
BUUUUURRRR-oh hey cargo shorts!
What a deal!
YOU GOT IT SONY.
...so yeah, Crawling_Chaos, I did my part and helped the economy loads. I am a hero for sure. Let
me play Chess now or I will wait here some more.
Yep.
I am sorry, Sony, but these are really all the games you have. You are not allowed to say that they
are all 'Gotta Have'. That's cheating.
Love is in the air at PS3's Home Open Beta.
And now: more dancing!
FINE.
I'll just dance over here. It's cool.
gamedadeee is not the king of what is gay. Sashaaaayyy. Saaaasshhh-aaaaaaaayyyy.
Last but not least, the ever-exciting PS3 Home Arcade awaits my critical review!
All the free commercial propaganda I could ever want! YES.
Time for a vidjeo game break!
And I only had to wait three hours for a machine to be oH NO YOU DON'T TAMPABAY91. NO YOU DON'T.
Carriage Return. This will be greater than Halo 3, I just know it. This will make owning a PS3 worth
every single penny!
HELL YE-wait what.
....
Moving on! Maybe this game will be better!
Hey are you done yet?
I WILL SMITE YOU.
So I smote him and now I get to play Ice Breaker because that's how it works.
Annnnd it's a shitty clone of Break Out.
Talk to the hand, Ice Breaker. Talk to the hand.
I end my tour with this Bowling Alley here. Here, the lanes are full (because four lanes is enough
for thousands of simultaneous users) and I am bored.
