Sir Guido Q. Fagballs the third
...was the name of your
FATHER, an even greater
BANDITO. You've heard plenty of
STORIES about his
ENDEAVORS, which inspired you to take up the family
TRADE. He once robbed the
WORLD NATIONAL BANK, taking 1/3rd of the
WORLD'S MONEY, as was all he could fit in his
ANUS at the time. When the
LAW was hot on his
TAIL, he quickly found shelter in a
GRAPE VINEYARD. He stayed hidden and lived off of
GRAPE AND GRAPE ACCESSORIES until he was caught by a 14 year old
WHITE CHICK. He didn't speak a word of
ENGLISH, but they knew they couldn't withhold their
PASSION anymore. They made
SWEET SWEET LOVE on top of a pile of
GRAPES. Their passion rang out all across the
VINEYARD, and the
GRAPES under them fermented into
SEX WINE.
Two
MONTHS later, the
WHITE CHICK revealed that she was
TEEN PREGNANT.
GUIDO quickly got the fuck out, and then
YOU were born.
Scott Steve Fagballs
14 year old
WHITE CHICKS have terrible taste in names.
25
YEARS later,
SCOTT STEVE FAGBALLS was not a name to be laughed at, not unless it is behind his back and he can't hear you. That's pretty safe.
Maybe. You've never met your
FATHER, but you're sure he's still alive
SOMEWHERE, and then you can
KUNG-FU PUNCH him in the
TESTICLES.
YESTERDAY'S RAID went smoothly. You went
HOME with several
FLY BITCHES, who you took to the
BONE ZONE. It is now
TODAY.
You wake up in a bed.
What do you do?
