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[Toad]

Dude, are you sure you want to join the football team? Don't you want to win Cindy over with who you really are? I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm getting well prepared to pretend I know what you will end up doing all along, especially if you do something totally unexpected.

[Hlavco]

One time somebody threw the football to me, and I caught it and ran for a touchdown. For some reason, everybody was completely shocked.

It happened like five more times, but no matter what everybody was still always just as shocked as the first time and they still never threw to me more than like once a game, if that...

[Koltreg]

I am wearing an old flannel shirt over a wife beater cause I come from the wrong side of the tracks. The rich side. Janitors and Lunchladies make fat stacks of cash.

I walk into a random classroom, fire the teacher and then use the Janitor's key's to set fireworks off in the Principal's car. I AM MOODY AND MYSTERIOUS!

[Bij Man]

As mentioned earlier, I am the headmaster with a flaring spirit that wishes to wrestle any problems to the ground, using my flying elbow strikes to physically educate the youngsters of today.  I wander the halls, taking different poses every now and then when I should probably be back in my office doing actual paperwork.  But paperwork is for loserz.

[Koltreg]

And apparently so is not knocking up the trashy girls with low grades. Yes?

[Life Coach Bull]

So Derek is Lewis Black?

[Koltreg]

Derek is everyone as we are all a little bit of Derek.

[Bij Man]

And apparently so is not knocking up the trashy girls with low grades. Yes?

Yes.  The only knocking up that should be going on in my school is someone getting an uppercut if they've gotten out of line.