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[Texas Ninja]

My gang coworker has a friend who has a group of girls who will willingly have sex with guys for money. She'll set it up for part of the money. He didn't get why I called her a pimp and the group of girls whores.

I'm copy/pasting my other work story because I'm lazy.

Miranda says:
Guy comes up and asks if we have any extra coupons.
Miranda says:
For some reason people think we print them ourselves/ roll in them while laughing or something.
Coro says:
haha
Miranda says:
I said no the post office mailed them but he could go home and print a coupon off Jack's website for a buck off a sandwich.
Miranda says:
He looks me in the eye and says "How about you pretend I went home and did that and give it to me now?"
Coro says:
He needs to put sandvich in his printer to make it print?
Miranda says:
Nicely done
Coro says:
That's a decent request
Miranda says:
I told him he could get a pretend sandwich for that pretend coupon.

[FOOOOOXXXXXX]

Found porn in the breakroom today. Typical day at work.

This except replace "found" with "Walked in on 3 40-60 year old men watching a porn based reality game show while eating lunch".

[Texas Ninja]

That's what my coworkers will grow into.

[UselessJack]

40°C (that's 104°F for you crazy americans) and no chance of cooling down. Getting home and the first thing I do is take off my clothes. Second thing I do is realizing that my neighbour is standing in the garden, watching me with a weird look. Wasn't sure if I should've pelvic thrust in his direction, so I just ran into the bath and hid there fore half an hour.

[Ungodly]

40°C (that's 104°F for you crazy americans) and no chance of cooling down. Getting home and the first thing I do is take off my clothes. Second thing I do is realizing that my neighbour is standing in the garden, watching me with a weird look. Wasn't sure if I should've pelvic thrust in his direction, so I just ran into the bath and hid there fore half an hour.

He was probably into it. It's fine. And that sounds  like here about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Ughhh, that heat + humidity is god awful weather.

[Panther]

So I got a random error while I was closing up today at work. Called my manager over to make sure it wasn't serious. It wasn't. He closes out of the full-screen program.

Spoiler for "Oh, uh, ignore that. It's a confidentiality thing," I say:

So that was a good laugh and reminiscing with some of my co-workers. One of the float tellers working here this week is super cute.

Back to Panther-bot mode: Fleshbags, I require your aid. I am trying to buy an affordable PC headset. Right now I'm looking at this one and this one. If any of you have any experience with these models/brands/want to suggest something else it'd be greatly appreciated.

[Texas Ninja]

40°C (that's 104°F for you crazy americans) and no chance of cooling down. Getting home and the first thing I do is take off my clothes. Second thing I do is realizing that my neighbour is standing in the garden, watching me with a weird look. Wasn't sure if I should've pelvic thrust in his direction, so I just ran into the bath and hid there fore half an hour.

You'll wake up with him watching you. Just pull the blanket over your head and you'll be fine.

[Hlavco]

One of my coworkers was doing a conference call using his personal laptop and didn't realize that everyone on the call could see the links to porn sites bookmarked on his browser's homepage. Luckily the clients just laughed.

[UselessJack]

Back to Panther-bot mode: Fleshbags, I require your aid. I am trying to buy an affordable PC headset. Right now I'm looking at this one and this one. If any of you have any experience with these models/brands/want to suggest something else it'd be greatly appreciated.

Try to get a Logitech one, they shouldn't be too expensive and the quality is god-tier, even the cheap ones.

[Wonko]

With headphones don't spend too much since cheap ones last almost the same as the expensive ones.

[Dommykins]

I really wish I could find a Let's Play of Mad World without some annoying autist trying to be funny over the actually good scenes.  Like is a simple recording of the game too much to ask?

[Infinite Ass]

Maybe shoot off a recommendation/request/query to ChipCheezum and General Ironicus? They're pretty good about that.

I'm not sure they do requests though.

[Texas Ninja]

Hurricane season makes me feel bad as I always wish it on someone else. If Issac doesn't swerve I just get rain, if it swerves I go to work in a level one, or it goes to level two and my naturally nervous Mom will want to go.

[Texas Ninja]

I went on a date and he takes me to Hot Topic and tells me to get what I want. I'm looking at pikachu socks and a stuffed Batman when I hear "I want you to wear this for me" behind me. I turn around and he's holding up this:



I'm very impressed it wasn't a corset.

[Ungodly]

A review of a local post office:

7 p.m. on a Friday night. I’m way uptown taking pictures of mailboxes for my popular Tumblr “Fk Yeah Mailboxes That Look Like Ryan Gosling.” All of a sudden, my mind shudders. That nagging vital chore I couldn’t seem to remember? I remember now. It’s the last day of the month, and I have less than one hour to mail my Hulu premium subscription fee, or else it’ll be shut off.

As Homer Simpson might say, “Doh!” (Episode 4F20 “Marge Learns To Read”)

At 8 p.m., the last mail trucks roll out of Manhattan for the weekend, and this check’s gotta be on one of them. The only post office I can make it to in time is in Harlem. Normally I would be a little trepidatious to travel through the ghetto. Fortunately, I’m with my friend Jim, who has a ghetto pass in the form of an XL Wu-Tang t-shirt coupled with his diehard support for Dr. Ron Paul.

“Libertarianism is by definition not a racist ideology,” Jim yells as we enter the post office on West 125th street. “Unrestrained capitalism can only help poor minorities!”

With the crowd firmly on our side, we proceed to the task at hand. Thanks to my massive intelligence, I have never missed a single joke on “2 Broke Girls,” and I wasn’t about to miss one on account of an unpaid bill. Problem is, we don’t have an envelope, and the packaging store is closed for the night. Luckily, Jim has a copy of the latest Ron Paul White Survival Newsletter on him. Using my self-taught origami skills, I jury-rig a receptacle for my check and write the address. Victoriously, I plunge my free hand into my fanny pack for a stamp, when hard reality hits me like Chris Brown hit musical gold with his catchy chart toppers.

I don’t have any stamps.

How could this be? I always have spare stamps. I went to 17 post offices that afternoon! I feel awful. I feel like Garfield locked in a crate of Mondays.

Yet there’s still hope: the stamp machine here is working. I claw through my pockets in search of 50 cents. No dice. All I have on me are a novelty penny pressed with Goku’s likeness and a worthless pair of dice. Between the two of us, we have no loose change whatsoever (Jim had a ten, but he didn’t want to break it).

I start to panic. There’s no time left to go to an ATM. Jim tells me to relax, that the free market will take care of it, and something about bringing back debtor’s prisons. But I refuse to calm down. There are THREE on-demand streaming Seth MacFarlane cartoons at stake here. Adrenaline surge. It’s action time. Bootstraps be damned, I need to mail this check right now!

I rush over to the shoeless man half-sleeping in the lobby. I plead my case to him: the threatened Hulu subscription, the fruitless fanny pack search, the Goku penny, Ron Paul’s plan to revitalize America’s gold fortresses — all of it, blubbered out among heaving sobs. The stranger looks up at me with blood red eyes, then at Jim in his fading XL Wu-Tang shirt, and he wordlessly hands me two quarters from his Taco Bell cup.

Ladies and gentlemen, miracles do happen. They happen at post offices like these. Don’t believe me? Take the train up to 125th street sometime, where there are angel wings on every homeless man, and episodes of NBC’s smash hit “Whitney” on every monitor.