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Pimp Your Shit / Re: Insert Self Here - The Terrible Baby of Ves and Naff
« on: September 17, 2011, 01:24:49 AM »
omg this comic is so kawaii~
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2
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Please read.
« on: April 11, 2011, 10:17:12 PM »
I will admit that this is quite a shock to me. When Socks told me this had happened the other day, I felt what I am sure many of you also experienced. It was surreal to stare at this thread and knowingly understand that such a tragic event had taken place. A part of me wanted to put together this paragraph I'm writing right at that moment. Instead I drowned myself in work to try and push it out of my head until now. I mean, this isn't the first time that someone that I know has taken their life, but this was the first time I had acted this way. And I am glad that I did invest myself in my work, because I don't think I could've realized how influential and charismatic a person Timeoow was without taking a that metaphorical step back.
I'm trying to be as non-cliche as I can be, because Timo was a person who was just more than a great person to talk to and mess around with through the internet. He was a young man that I truly did respect and I never say that without meaning it wholeheartedly. To be honest- and please don't take this as trying to sound mean, that is in no way my intent- his only flaw was that I don't think he saw his own worth that way that we did. So while I will always remember how he passed, I won't let that replace the fact that he was a great person to stay up late and chat with, who had an extensive knowledge of so many different subjects that it wowed me every time he pulled out some new kind of knowledge, who did such awesome things that I couldn't help but laugh for minutes upon minutes.
Finally, I wish his family and his friends all of the best, because I know how greatly this can affect them all. I strongly believe that you all meant more to him than you realize.
Fair winds and following seas Timo.
I'm trying to be as non-cliche as I can be, because Timo was a person who was just more than a great person to talk to and mess around with through the internet. He was a young man that I truly did respect and I never say that without meaning it wholeheartedly. To be honest- and please don't take this as trying to sound mean, that is in no way my intent- his only flaw was that I don't think he saw his own worth that way that we did. So while I will always remember how he passed, I won't let that replace the fact that he was a great person to stay up late and chat with, who had an extensive knowledge of so many different subjects that it wowed me every time he pulled out some new kind of knowledge, who did such awesome things that I couldn't help but laugh for minutes upon minutes.
Finally, I wish his family and his friends all of the best, because I know how greatly this can affect them all. I strongly believe that you all meant more to him than you realize.
Fair winds and following seas Timo.
3
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: The Official Friendship is Magic Thread
« on: February 24, 2011, 05:48:51 AM »
I don't even watch this show and I want to be a magical pony too.
A pony with a haunted past...
A pony with a haunted past...
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Feb 14: If you can't beat em, beat them.
« on: February 13, 2011, 02:45:16 AM »
Talking to a girl in Colorado. I sent that bitch some hugging salt and pepper shakers.
Bitches love hugging salt and pepper shakers.
Bitches love hugging salt and pepper shakers.
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Tales and Tidbits from AFGHANISTAN
« on: February 13, 2011, 02:41:37 AM »
In a way, since I pay taxes too, I am paying myself. So that might be why you get no half-naked pictures of us half-tards.
6
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Thoughts of the Moment.
« on: February 11, 2011, 10:01:52 AM »So I had all of these things planned to do to happy couples this Valentines Day but for the first time in about 5 years I've found myself in a relationship on this Hallmark day of spending. I feel so terrible. Cause I still want to supr superglue on cutlery at fancy resteraunts but at the same time it makes me a complete hypocite. Help me Slackerz, what do I does?
Do all of those pranks as a couple.
Then have some awesome sex. The kind where at the end, there are no words, you just high five each other.
Best V-Day ever.
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Tales and Tidbits from AFGHANISTAN
« on: February 11, 2011, 09:58:57 AM »Any strip variations of those games?
I think you have it backwards. We always play with stripping, it's civilians who decided that they are uncomfortable being in close proximity to other naked people.
Cribbage looks super boring and confusing.
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Tales and Tidbits from AFGHANISTAN
« on: February 10, 2011, 02:37:29 PM »
When you go on deployment, there are 3 games that EVERYONE learns how to play:
Spades
Dominoes
Texas Hold'Em
And you will play these games for hours upon hours and then for a few more hours.
Spades
Dominoes
Texas Hold'Em
And you will play these games for hours upon hours and then for a few more hours.
9
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Should I pop crembaw's mancherry finally?
« on: February 10, 2011, 02:35:12 PM »
When I look my avatar picture now, all I see now is Dom and Crem.
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: UNDISPUTED UNIFIED CHAMPION OF CHAT THREADS
« on: February 09, 2011, 03:26:52 PM »
I'm just going to start lurking at conventions to find girls like these.
11
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Thoughts of the Moment.
« on: February 09, 2011, 02:55:58 PM »
I know who I'm going to commission to draw my portrait.
12
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Tales and Tidbits from AFGHANISTAN
« on: February 09, 2011, 02:45:38 PM »
So today, we had a bunch of Powerpoint classes (which we call "Death by Powerpoint") to cover certain training requirements. Well, as it just so happens to be my luck, my awesome female boss was one of the instructors today. And she likes to have fun with her training classes.
What did that mean for today? Well, what you might not know is that there exists certain pictures of certain people in a certain blonde womanly wig. Hint: it just might be this guy. Yeah, it's this guy, right here.
And today, this picture found it's way into the presentation. Did this produce laughs? Of course. Did it bring me down a notch? Hell no. Cause if there is anything I know about my Marine Corps, it's that we love doing some stupid shit. And we're all guilty of stupid shit. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said this about us:
“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”
And just to top off how awesome my bosses class was, she used 2 Beanie Babies as puppets to act out a scene of extreme racism. Nice.
What did that mean for today? Well, what you might not know is that there exists certain pictures of certain people in a certain blonde womanly wig. Hint: it just might be this guy. Yeah, it's this guy, right here.
And today, this picture found it's way into the presentation. Did this produce laughs? Of course. Did it bring me down a notch? Hell no. Cause if there is anything I know about my Marine Corps, it's that we love doing some stupid shit. And we're all guilty of stupid shit. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said this about us:
“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”
And just to top off how awesome my bosses class was, she used 2 Beanie Babies as puppets to act out a scene of extreme racism. Nice.
13
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Should I pop crembaw's mancherry finally?
« on: February 09, 2011, 02:14:21 PM »
If you like it then you better put a ring on it.
14
Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Introduce your stupid self
« on: February 06, 2011, 07:09:02 PM »
Communism makes my panties wet.
Because I just strangled it to death with my rope made of capitalism.
Because I just strangled it to death with my rope made of capitalism.
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Nonsequitur Bullshit / Re: Tales and Tidbits from AFGHANISTAN
« on: February 06, 2011, 03:30:42 PM »How awesome is your average care package?
They are all okay, except for this one guy, code name: Rig Dawg. He sends us the most random ass shit ever. Like kitchen knives, delivery menus from local restaurants, random glass jars filled with coffee grounds, crazy stories of him fucking hookers in Thailand, and old patrol reports from Vietnam. He's super crazy, but also crazy awesome.
And now, here is what happens when you leave your work e-mail open for people to abuse:
From: Cpl T
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 12:50
To: People
Subject: Guess What
I think kissing girls is icky and they have cooties. Plus they’re not hairy enough for my tastes.
Lolol,
Cpl "Mr. T" T
From: Sgt No Ma'am
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 08:28
To: More People
Subject: Open Invitation
Hey Guyssssss!
You know, after these last few weeks here, I feel like we’ve all REALLY connected and bonded. You guys are my bestest buds in the whole world. Such good buds, that I would give you guys a nice, deep, sensual massage if you ever needed one. Some of you look pretty tense when I sit there watching you, silently and unblinking. And I have more than enough lemon scented oil to give everyone a good rub down. And I do mean rub down, if you catch my drift. ;) Heart you guys!
Toodles,
Sgt “Soft Touch” No Ma'am
From: LCpl Wookie
Sent: Saturday, January 08, 2011 03:07
To: Peeps
Subject: What I Dream of Becoming
Greetings of the day,
These last few years serving in the greatest service out of all the military services in the world have been great for me and my life. I’ve spent many hours meditating and opening myself to a higher plane of conscience in the hopes of discovering what I want to achieve. And on this day, I have finally come to a decision of what I want to do in my life.
I have decided to become the world’s very first superhero, code-named Bigfoot Ninja.
The combination of my ability to mask my presence, my tree sized legs which could crush coals into diamonds, my tiny head which can fit into any opening to spy on evil, and the hairs on my body that will be used as tiny needles of death, make me the perfect candidate. I will need no costume or mask, as the shadows from which I will live in will hide my identity and the hair that covers my body like a bad Christmas sweater will disguise me in any setting. The only nutrition I will require will be the defeat of evil and villainy, saving thousands of mozzarella sticks to feed those in need. The only exercise I will need are the millions of squats I will do while carrying the hopes and dreams of all the world’s peoples.
I will become the night. I will make the Beverly Hills Ninja look like an amateur act. Chewbacca will be jealous of my fine fur coat. Voodoo practitioners will be shocked at how small my head is. The world will never see me, but they will know I am there, for they will hear me roar furiously as I sleep, awaiting to awaken and dispense hairy justice.
And for you- the citizens whom I swear to protect even if you are caught in an avalanche and I must warm you up with my body hair blanket, holding you close and breathing hotly on your ears- can always call out for me by shouting the magic phrase, “BLANKALICIOUS BLANKALUFFAGUS!”, five times fast.
As quickly as I appear, I disappear even more quicker! NINJA VANISH! KA-POOF!
Heroically,
LCpl Bigfoot Ninja
MTACULAR League of Heroism
Acting Guardian of The Halls of Hair
Senior Board Executive of The Hair Club for Men
This e-mail will explode into a million hairs in 3 minutes.
From: Sgt Big Daddy
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 23:16
To: My peoples
Subject: Morale
Greetings,
I think that when we get a goat it should be a boy goat, because girls scare me.
R/S,
Sgt Big Daddy
“It’s raining men, hallelujah, it’s raining men” – The Weather Girls
We do not fuck around when it comes to fucking with other people.